Day 102: An Ode to CHK FLK PG

an ode to chk flk pg

by the Long Island Yak

Grow in grace

Grow in love

Grow in everything above

Grow in kindness and compassion

Do not let your life just happen

Grow in goodness and forgive

 When you do the LIFE will live

Grow in patience with yourself, your neighbors, friends and strife will melt

Grow the fire that’s within

In humble stance we will begin

Grow in LOVE above it all

And we will see death’s kingdom fall



There is One faithful one…..I don’t know about you, but I am learning to embrace the brokenness in my heart and accept the brokenness in the heart’s of those around me.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Day 66: What then can we say?

Sometimes we say things that can be very hurtful to others. Sometimes we say things that are very edifying to other people. Our words are powerful and we need to be careful with them.

A heart can be lifted or lowered based on the choice of our words. The power of LIFE and death are in the tongue. What the tongue releases comes directly from our hearts.

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Luke 6:45

What comes out of our mouths is an issue of our hearts. What is in your heart? What is in mine? It’s easy to tell by what comes out of our mouths. May we not ignore what we say, but use our words as a gauge to see what we are allowing our hearts to be filled with. To see what wickedness we are still operating from.

23 Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!

24 And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting  Psalm 139:23-24

Is there a place we need to forgive? Repent? Release? Heal? What are our words giving away? Do they hurt or heal? Are they good or evil? We need to know. We need to ask. This is what reflects our hearts.

May your heart and mine realize that only Jesus can make our hearts right. May we commune with Him often and bring to Him everything about our hearts and let Him do what He needs to with the raw reality of our confessions. He know about it all anyway and He cares deeply for each of us. May we let Him exchange all evil in our hearts for His goodness and righteousness. May continue to die to self as He fills us with new life. May we be encouraged as we come boldly to the throne of God to receive nothing but His kindness towards us. Thank You LORD that my heart and yours are in the BEST hands ever.

What then shall we say?  Here’s my heart LORD. Speak what is TRUE.

Life in the Spirit

8 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.[a] For the law ofthe Spirit of life has set you[b] free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin,[c] he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law;indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you.Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. 10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus[d] from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.

Heirs with Christ

12 So then, brothers,[e] we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons[f] of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit ofadoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

Future Glory

18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because[g] the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,[h] for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom heforeknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

God’s Everlasting Love

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be[i] against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.[j] 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8


Day 63: forgive me

Have you ever had to apologize to someone because you thought they had plotted, planned and schemed against you, when in reality, this simply wasn’t true?

I had to do that today, with God.

Today I realized that I’ve been so wrong about Him. God loves me and cares about every detail of my life. He has never left me for a moment and He has good plans for me. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Because of my lack of faith and understanding, I had looked to my circumstances and compared them to others. I’ve been disappointed, discouraged, angry, covetous, disheartened, depressed; you name it…..anything but grateful and secure.

How could you? Why me? Why them? How come? WHEN???

Oh forgive me Father.

Thank You! You are for me! Your plans are perfect! Your ways are not mine! Your timing is beautiful! You know me better than I know myself! You made me!

“Ho! Every one who thirsts, come to the waters;
And you who have no money come, buy and eat.
Come, buy wine and milk
Without money and without cost.
“Why do you spend money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,
And delight yourself in abundance.
“Incline your ear and come to Me.
Listen, that you may live;
And I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
According to the faithful mercies shown to David.
“Behold, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
A leader and commander for the peoples.
“Behold, you will call a nation you do not know,
And a nation which knows you not will run to you,
Because of the Lord your God, even the Holy One of Israel;
For He has glorified you.”

Seek the Lord while He may be found;
Call upon Him while He is near.
Let the wicked forsake his way
And the unrighteous man his thoughts;
And let him return to the Lord,
And He will have compassion on him,
And to our God,

For He will abundantly pardon.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
10 “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
And do not return there without watering the earth
And making it bear and sprout,
And furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater;
11 So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth;
It will not return to Me empty,
Without accomplishing what I desire,
And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.
12 “For you will go out with joy
And be led forth with peace;
The mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you,
And all the trees of the field will clap their hands.
13 “Instead of the thorn bush the cypress will come up,
And instead of the nettle the myrtle will come up,
And it will be a memorial to the Lord,
For an everlasting sign which will not be cut off.”

Isaiah 55:1-13

Day 37: Chapter 4/Innocent Blood

Salvation, real and true, comes from receiving the blood Jesus shed for us on the cross. His blood has the power to forgive. He is the only One who saves.

Do you know what it looks like when we try to save ourselves? Do you want to?

It looks like this:

Here I am, a young woman starting out  and faced with really NO CHOICE. Sure, you may say I had one and looking back, I definitely did, but I could not see it. There wasn’t even a hint of thinking that if I had this child it would be OKAY. No. Everything was terribly wrong and it was all about me. Everything was about me. It was about protecting myself and my future (with all it’s big plans?!). A child? Well, it’s not even a child yet. Just a clump of cells. So, it didn’t matter anyway. Better to not just save myself, and also to SAVE this “thing” from ever becoming a child so that it doesn’t have to live with me in the HELL I perceived all around me.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

I had to get this over with, before too many weeks went by and I was REALLY carrying a child (I say this with a broken heart). How do you get an abortion? You look in the phone book and you pick a place far away where no one will see you. You charge it on your credit card (which isn’t the smartest thing to do). You see, this is a shameful matter. It’s legal, but it really isn’t accepted. I think deep down, everyone knows what it is. It is murder made legal. The rationale can go on and on. NONE OF THE REASONS ARE GOOD REASONS.

I schedule my abortion. I go, alone if I remember correctly. I know my boyfriend did accompany me once. Yes once. I have to go two times. The first time I go, the doctor did not show up and the appointment was cancelled. In retrospect, this was a chance to make the right choice, but all I saw was another inconvenience. This was hard enough for me because I had a lot of sneaking around to do. Now I had to do it again! I never once saw this as an opportunity to change my mind. A chance to show and receive mercy. I had blinded eyes….but now, I see.

I re-schedule and I decide that I will watch the procedure as it takes place. That is the brave thing to do. It doesn’t hurt as they insert the suction and I watch as the very child God blessed me with is removed from my body. All I can see is red through a long tube. I know these are just cells, not a baby at all. Nope. I had to see for myself and I was right.


I am relieved. It is over. I am free and can get on with my life. SAFE! No one knows and all is well. Not only that, but I believe this with all my heart: How noble of me to abort quickly, before this was an actual child?! I am so proud of this decision. And even happier that everything went smoothly. It is finished.


With eyes finally opened years later, I deeply understand what I have done. I have blood on my hands. Innocent blood. I have to repent of this sin. What would a court do to me if my little girl had been born and I murdered her? Would it be any different? It wouldn’t. Yet we make it out to be different somehow.

When you take a life at any stage, it is taking a life. The life God created. The life Jesus died for. Jesus died for my child that she may live. Jesus died for you and He died for me. For LIFE! We are appalled at the murderers, especially the one’s who take the lives of children. But what about women who abort? What about men who force women to abort? Or governments that force women to abort? Why do we think this is okay?

God sent His only begotten Son Jesus to die for my sins and yours. We all sin and fall short one way or another. For some, they must pay for what they have done because of the laws of the land. For others, we get away free because of the laws of the land. But the laws of God, they come with consequences as well. The wages of sin is death. And we deserve every bit of it. Yet Christ died for us that we would not receive the penalty of our sinfulness. GRACE. It is truly amazing. And it is only in HIM that we can truly SEE!

And years later, I do see, and in my heart of heart’s I know that the life I took was the life of a precious little girl….

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.  2 Corinthians 5:21

Day 35: f e a r AND t r e m b l i n g

What are you faced with today? What have the last few days been like for you? For me,  a whirlwind of emotions and challenges have lifted my feet off the ground.  Tossed and turned by the winds of confusion, doubt, judgement, un-forgiveness, guilt, shame and a host of other debilitating issues, fear settles in.  A crash landing is imminent!

Have you ever been in a place where you were sure you were about to crash and burn?

I brace myself for the fall. I am terrified. I do NOT want to go out like this. No. Surely there must be way to land GRACE-fully. A way to grab hold of a LIFE-line. It’s hard to see with such strong winds gusting about. My own strength kicks in, but it is unable to sustain me. It is too weak. It fails. I’m a goner as the last deadly gust is about to throw me down hard….WOOSH! Another wind lifts me up, holds me safe and close, and reminds me that I am terribly loved. There is a great and sorrowful exchange of my stuff for His before He sets me down again on solid ground. Fully loved. Completely forgiven. Totally accepted. NEW.

God is our refuge and strength,
    an EVER-PRESENT help in trouble.  Psalm 46:1

May your heart and mine grab on to the Hand of the only One who can save us. May we CRY OUT to Jesus in the midst of every storm. May we repent for the sin in our hearts as we examine them again and again. May we receive the love and forgiveness that Jesus freely offers.

Day 10: OUCH!!

Hey! That hurts! You know it and so do I.

Sometimes we get stomped on. At other times, we do the stomping. Either way, someone gets hurt. And a choice must be made. Forgive, or not to forgive. Should that really be the question? And yet, we indulge ourselves with that option, don’t we?

The Word of God makes it perfectly clear.  “If you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:15

It is really with quite a bit of arrogance and lack of understanding that we hold others accountable for what they have done to us or others, yet we would REALLY appreciate others forgetting all about any wrong we’ve done to them or anyone else.

Jesus forgave. He tells us, 70×7 is our quota to meet. Forgive them that many times. Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing. “YES THEY DID!” we object. “Forgive them anyway,” He says with the most compassion a face could impart. I imagine tears of understanding and a twinkle of joy in His eyes. Jesus feels our pain and hopes for the BEST for each of us.

“…Forgiveness is like the big power tiller. If you want to build a garden, it’s the thing that breaks up this fallow, hard ground.  It’s not going to be a garden unless some hands are bleeding. It’s not going to be a garden unless some hearts can trust again and open themselves up to be hurt…” I love the way Jason Upton puts it in his song “Table (live)” from his album Glimpse.  He continues to say, “We don’t forgive because people deserve it. We forgive so we can see again.”

May we see there really isn’t a choice. May we desire to receive forgiveness ourselves. May my heart and yours be quick to drop all charges against others, even if the offense is “unforgivable”. May we ask our Father, in the name of Jesus, to help us to trade our lack of forgiveness for LOVE towards whosoever. May my heart and yours receive His great love for others and for ourselves.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. Luke 6:28

God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? Numbers 23:19